You know life is so uncertain. We all have our dreams and aspirations we want out of life. As of late I'm truly unsure of what I want to do in life. My dream is to be in the gaming industry making video games. Thats my true dream. But dose one easily give up on their dreams due to the odds of getting a job in the industry? I know a lot of mapping (making levels for games), as well very bare minimum texture artistry, and I'm good at coding in Internet languages. But dose that not make me qualified? Very much not so. Its truly amazing for me. In my life I have seen a lot of my friends hit it big in the industry. I know people working at Raven Software, Splash Damage, Ritual Software. But even though they've made it. Could I really do that? I want to go to school and learn everything about creating games.. I would love to work on a mod for quake 3 or doom 3, half life 2 maybe some of the upcoming games. I have always love to game and I got really involved back in the day of Q3F when it was in its prime it had a very good community of gamers. Although I sucked at playing the game I loved it so much that I pitched in and programmed a free piece of software to help support the gaming community(s) I was involved in. It was called "Clan Infinity" I'm sure if you google it you would find info about it and about my work. But I did not stop their either, I was also a columnist for the community at a long but gone site called "PQ3F.com". Those were my hay days. I got very well known in the community due to my association with all the things I've done in the community. I want to get back their again and finish the 2nd version of "Clan infinity 2.0" Which has been in the works for over a 2 years on and off. But thats still on hold as my computer is still in Seattle, WA. And my mom won't give it to me... LOL. Anyway. My thoughts wonder and I wonder if I should try and fight the odds of it all. Should I get back on track with my dream? Is it so far fetched for my dream? I want it a lot and I want to do it badly. I could get references from my friends of my work I got assurance of that. When I was a kid I wanted to be a cop as well. I kinda rethought that through too! But that seems really dangerous! Then there's god who wants me to be helping people and helping youth. See I feel thats a strong pull that god wants me to do. But I don't think its what he wants me to do as a job more of on the side lines. I have already started helping people. If you've read my blog you would know all to well of my helping of others. But all in all give me your opinion. Is a dream so hard to forget or just brush aside? Is it worth the odds of going through school for it all and just not be able to get into the industry?

I also helped my friend yesterday who has Lymphoma. I donated $20.00 for his trip hes gonna be doing in OCT 2005! Its called Ride of the roses. He has lost 2 friends from cancer and he is also fighting for the second time with his. So being a Christian man I decided to donate and help him in this charitable cause.

Heres a snippet from his e-mail:

In memory of Al Koza and Brian Furness who passed away this summer
from a long and courageous battle with cancer, I am going to complete the
100-mile Ride for the Roses on Oct 21-23, 2005. I am also doing this
for myself having been battling Lymphoma since June 2003. I'd like to ask
you to join me in this effort by making a donation to the Lance
Armstrong foundation in Al's memory, in Brian's memory, or in tribute to a
cancer survivor close to you.

The Ride for the Roses is a bike ride organized by Lance Armstrong,
cancer survivor and six-time winner of the Tour de France. It's held
each year in Austin, TX and attracts more than 6,500 entrants, from Lance
Armstrong and Robin Williams to, well, me! My goal is to complete the
100 mile course. This will be the longest ride I have ever attempted.

Would you please support this effort by pledging a donation for my
ride? The money goes to cancer research and help for cancer survivors. I
have included donation information below, including instructions for
donating on line and a form for offline donations. A donation of any
amount is deeply appreciated.

More Information can be found here:
http://www.lymphomaniacs.org/SCase/rftr2005.php

Sincerely,
Shannon 'Stickboy' Case

So I'm asking if you wish to help my friend please feel to help him in such a good cause. You can donate at https://secure.laf.org/Donations/donate_amount.cfm?sid=200258281
May god bless you all! Please leave comments I'd love to hear from you if you donate or not..

God Bless