Tonight was pretty cool! I went to Revolution which is a young adults group at my church. And one of the worship leaders was speaking to us about destiny and such. And I would have to say it spoke to me because I don't have dreams anymore. Life is just bleh to me at this point. I'm going to be 23 next month (July 20Th to be exact). And really I don't see anything that is to look forward to. Other then my Desires of what I want to do and such. But those things seem so far off.

Like I helped for the first time in the church in respect to ministry for Operation God which is a children's ministry on Saturday. This Saturday is the last one till September. But were having a party. But my deepest desire is to be in ministry and grow and help others grow. And the other thing I REALLY want to do right now as well is a school that the church is doing. But I can't afford to do it unless I get O.S.A.P.. And if you attend this school you won't be able to work due to the long hours of the courses. 8hrs a day from my understanding. Plus my Pastor said no working LOL! I guess there would be lots of homework or something.. But if some miracle happened and I was able to attend there would still be the means of surviving the next 9 months without a job! So its a catch 22. :|. But I don't know anymore, everything seems so hard these days. I'm still out of work too! But here's what I've been thinking as of late. Me being out of work the last 3 months or so. Is this preparation for something new and bigger? I know I'm learning lots and such. But is it possible I might be able to attend this school by some miracle? Is this where things are leading? Or maybe me helping at the Summer camp at the church as well! I really hope to do that most of all! My desires burn like fire. They are hard to contain the joy I get from it. And I felt that joy for the first time on Saturday. I mean its feels amazing to help! It leaves you feeling of something of worth. Like you did something worth while. And there's nothing better then that I'd have to say.

Well I better run.. God bless

Josh