Well we put my dad to rest yesterday. It has to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There probably was about 200 people at the funeral. That makes me happy that friends and family came from far and wide to pay there last respects. We had a private viewing before the funeral started. I found an old picture when my dad was about 18months, I wrote a note to him on the back and put it in his hands. I also put in a picture of me as a baby. A Best Dad pin on his suit. My cousin Ryan put on his paratrooper wings (Ryan is in the army). I collapsed during our private time and had to be carried over to the couch. I also helped close the casket and said goodbye. It was very hard (I started to cry again). My family has been so supportive its great. Its nice to know I have my family back. My ex-roommate sung at the funeral. And my mom Sung as well. My cousin Ryan read something my aunt could not say. And he read a poem called "Your going to Fast" I think.... I went up and read what I wanted to say which follows:
Hello everyone,

I would first like to thank you for coming. I know I say for myself and the rest of my family that we are glad you could make it to pay your last respects to my dad.

You know the memory that has been in my mind for the last few days was when I was about 5 or so. We were at port dalousie and we were fishing. He so wanted me to catch a fish. So we spent all day trying to get me a fish and eventually I did catch a nice small sun fish. He looked at me with such love and happiness that I did catch one. You see my dad spoiled me when I was kid. He loved me lavishly just as god loves to lavish us with his love. Another occasion was probably a little older. We were playing at the park in the leaves and going down the slide just having a fun old time in the leaves.

You know I have no doubts where my father has gone because god has granted me the strength for he is our comforter according to (Matthew 5:4)
Matthew 5:4 (New Living Translation)

God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

I'm also very happy that god gave me a wonderful father. Someone who loved me and cared about me. A thought that comes to my mind right now was when I was in elementary school. I would look at what my dad made me for lunch and think. Wow I'm special my dad made me my lunch. Its those little things that we miss these days. But love is all around us if we see it or not. I've also come to know that he accepted Christ into his life before he passed. This brings me so much joy that I will be able to reunite with my father on the day the lord has marked for me.

I know when I say this that I won't be the only one to miss my father. But I will also miss a friend, a parent, playmate. I thank you god for the life of my father. I will miss him dearly, but I know he lives with you father god without pain and is happy. I thank you lord for your mercy and your grace. So let us celebrate the life of my dad.

[/End Speech]

It took about 10-15 min to read it. It was extremely hard for me to say. I'm just glad that god gave me the strength. After the funeral I went to my Uncle Eric's we were gonna toast my dad. But I out drank everyone :|. I had 5 beers in 2 hours. I got so hammered. I drank more then I anticipated.. OPPS! At least I have no hang over... But I meant to only have 1 or 2. I couldn't walk :|.. But oh well whats done is done on that matter..

I have to run. Thank you for all your prayers..

Josh