Well its been a few days since I've wrote. I can't say the hard times are over, I wish I could. But it dose not seem like I'm ever going to stop thinking about my dad. I think about him daily these days. So much I have to force myself to be distracted or else I will cry again. Especially today has been quiet difficult for me. I can't loosen my mind from my dad. I miss him so much, I just want him alive and well. Yesterday I went to a grief counsalor and I believe this dug up some old memories that's triggered this effect today. So I feel like I'm carrying what I'm feeling. Probably should give it to god to handle. Its quiet painful :|.

I really don't understand how my dad had to die at 44, and me being only 22. I need my dad. Hes someone I depend on and was always there for me. But I could be there for him. Its kinda funny today though god has been speaking to me in poetry. I got 2 that I remember:

1. I see you in the light of all these things, I hold you close to me. For I was the one that had set you free. Surrender your pain to me, for I will deliver you.
2. In the shadows I wait, I will give you my embrace, for I know your in pain, I love you still the same, in the light of it all he is safe with me. Don't cry for I am with you my son.

So I've never had that happen before so that's cool. I just hope for god to remain with me..

Well I have to run.. God bless