I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. - John 15:5

Monday, September 15, 2008
Dear Dad,

I've been thinking of you every day. It feels like only yesterday that I talked to you. But I can't talk to you anymore. And I feel there are so many questions I want to ask you. But you've gone on to a better place, and I know its almost been 3 years. But I still miss you. And I hold a lot of regret on how things went down as they did. I know you always meant well. But you never knew of the hidden pain which I held deep inside because of your actions in life. I wanted you know I forgive you for beating me up those times when you were to drunk to know better, I forgive you for abusing your prescriptions and doing that cocaine you said you did once. I also forgive you for being an alcoholic but never have the gull to admit it.

I know you tried your best to slow down on your abuses. And I know that after many years of abandoning your faith that you finally did allow god to start peeling those layers off your life! I only wish you knew you didn't have to follow in your fathers footsteps.

I thank you that you taught me the bad side of things. That today I am a better man because of it! And I know that I choose not and will not ever become like you! And I don't mean that to be negative dad. I just choose the better path in life. And I'm sorry that I almost fell for the same curse that you had over your life. But I've been lucky. God won't let me become what you were. Because he has a plan for me dad, a plan for something better. And plan of ending this curse of abuse in our family dad. I have to do it dad. It will be for the better. Because god has given me authority to break this curse! IT WILL NOT BE ANYMORE!

You see dad, God has brought healing in my life. More then you knew of the things I held deep inside. I can't hold it in anymore dad, its destroying me. Its eating me alive inside. And I know you loved me, but you had a really hard time showing it. And I know whenever I finally become a father I will choose to show how much I love them dad.

But Dad I wanted you to know how much I've grown too! I've allowed god to tear down many walls that once were. Because after all he has all the keys to my burdens. And I know no matter what that I can come threw. Even as I struggle now that there will always be light at the end of the tunnel!

I just wanted you to know these things dad. Even though these things were hard to say and even as the tears run down my face. I still love you and I miss you more then you know!

Love your Only son,

Josh
Posted by Whitepyro @ 5:08 PM   3 comments

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