The more I ponder of the life I have lived. And the life I have yet to live, I see the glory that is god. The way he will and has breathed things over my life; And Into my Life; And made that which is into existence. May it be the Sunrise or the Sunset. Or to the mere beauty of his creation. The mountain tops, The skyline, People that he surrounds us with. The bleakness of the Lost and weary. And especially the insight and knowledge he bestows upon his people.

Some of you may know my story. My Testimony of me getting jump, My father being murdered, My Depression, My suicidal thoughts, the constant reminder of feeling alone, the deep desire to be a father, My strong compassion and love for people.

God has brought me through a journey. And as I once said to a friend of mine "The crossroad is part of the journey. Don't be discouraged about the process". As I think of that even more I believe it to be more true then when I said it. That the journey is what has made us what we are today. For me that process has had its painful moments. Those moments where the pain and the sting hurt the most are but only a moment in time. Its has been in my life a time of refinement and a time of comfort from God (Mathew 5:4).

My Father was an alcoholic. Although he'd never admit it. He would like to pop a bunch of bills to get high. For me this was a huge turn off. It made me not respect him back then. But without that I wouldn't be the man I am today. A man with conviction in his heart; Not for others but for my own life. I refuse to be that which was my father.

There is a sense of grace in those moments, at least for me. To come to an understanding with god. The more you get free from what we call the flesh the more you see the (flesh) in the world. Its a controlling force that wreaks havoc in our society. We see the flesh being the controlling force where the flavour of the moment could be sex, drugs, drinking, etc. See it how you may, But I feel god has shown me that its all a cover. Its a total shame of self destruction.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. Matthew 7:13

When we start to see not with our flesh; But with the spiritual eyes which god has given to us to see, which that is inherently evil. For me to see how people live their lives by their flesh and not by their spirit in fact makes me feel a sense of compassion and love to be able to help them find their way home. Mind you I believe that most seeds that are sown, which are the ones who have seeded usually never gets to see the outcome of that seed "Lest Pride sneaks in". For me its a burden the lord has laid upon me, at times its almost unbearable to me. Its a longing of God instilled into me. Its a wild fire that is unquenchable and it burns with ferocity that it consumes my heart.

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:7-10

I have been fortunate to see fruit of my sowing. I saw my obedience to God get my father saved before he was killed. This happened in April 2005. His Birthday was July 10Th. July 10Th is important not because it was his birthday but because what god did on his birthday a few years later 2009.

A woman started at my work and God specifically told me to be nice to her. For me I am usually nice, But these were Gods instructions. So I did what he said. She had worked with me for about a month or two until one day I missed the bus so we went and had a chat till the bus was to come. Four hours later we emerged from the van. God lead the conversation and I spoke to her and encouraged her and shared my faith with her. A few months had past until July 10Th came and I went over to her house with a friend to talk to her and to bless her house as she felt a darkness in her home. That day July 10Th was the day she gave her heart to the lord. For me this was as if God was confirming something to me. A seed sown and a seed confirmed. Since then Her Husband, Her Daughter and her Son have come to the lord. By one person guided by God and through his grace allowed me to be a vessel.

For me through my circumstance and by God alone has he instilled a longing and a sense of compassion and love for people. Which was not there before my getting saved and baptized. God has put me on a journey of Compassion and love to help people come back home where God wants them to be. I feel this is my true calling in life. At which it is my desire to be a Counsellor (also God Instilled).

So Let us Love people into the kingdom. Let us be the Light that God has called us to do. For me its truly hard to express the desire and fire in my heart for people. Like I've said its almost unbearable at times. I just want to hug everyone and tell them there is hope and God has always made a way out. For me I find great joy in doing what God has asked of me. And even you to do. Rise up! Shake off that fear. Yes condemnation will come. Even Mockery. But let you fight the good fight!! My only hope is that I don't disqualify myself from the prize, There is no pride in what God is asking. I pray that you see God and not me. But the mere vessel.

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