Welcome to the Theme Park where my life is your roller coaster...

Someone once told me that I let my emotions control my outward actions. And I think I finally get what she meant. Those things that have so much to do with ones perspective can sometimes be blinded by their own circumstance. For me this is a daily event, work especially. At times it feels like you will never be able to get to leave and go home on one of those bad days. But then I have to remind myself that "Yes" I will get to leave soon. Its all about my perspective..

Today being my day off I've had a lot of time to think things through. I have come out of it with more questions then answers. Some including my dad, my life, my feelings, my actions. Someone once told me that things are refined in fire, And fire you've had.

Ever since I quit World of Warcraft I have learnt that I am a creative person. And that's something I never really knew about myself. Sure I heard it a million times. But I'm starting to believe that possibly in certain times in our lives we take it as blind words, until REAL revelation happens and you get one of those "UH HUH" Moments. There have been a lot of revelation that has happened lately. For example, I have had this CD by Seventh Day Slumber FOREVER!!! The album is "Finally Awake", And man do they mean it. This CD has hit a new chord with me today. Sure I liked the music.. But I actually got revelation from it in my own personal life.. In regards the song "Everyday Saturday".


It spoke to me specifically about my father, Who oddly enough also died on a Saturday.. Odd, But no matter.. But it also explains my struggle to maintain sanity in my life.. But the fact of the matter is that no matter what "God Is still god" and I'm still hold onto that with everything I have. But there is more then one thing that is keeping me standing still. I guess this is what you get when you ask god to help you grow.. In the end I suppose its almost as if I'm being purified of the things that I have buried deep down inside and I'm ready to deal with it. But the fact is I SUCK at dealing with things. As I'm sure some can attest to!

I guess it all comes down to is I really don't know anymore. The fact is that its Amazing that I still stand here. Through times in my life I would rather be dead then alive, Unfortunately that's as brutally honest as it has been. Mind you I'm not stupid, I know what that means. And it is by choice that I choose not to reflect on such flibber flabber.. (new word?).

But I'm really starting to believe in timing, The whole thing with my best friend coming into my life before all things came tumbling down in my life to be a vessel of Christ, The fact that I've had this CD since forever and I'm getting revelation from it NOW, And the fact that the image in this post talks about perspective. You could look in a mirror and just see yourself or you could see things that are bigger then you are. The fact that God had me work on this image for no reason at all about perspective to lead me to write about it, is Amazing. More Revelation please!

This is me signing off now! (CLICK)

Labels: god perspective guidance